Death continues to be one of life's silent companions. It is a topic not often openly discussed, and even more rarely with a personal slant. The important question “What does it mean for me to die?' is one we are afraid to ask, yet it is recognised that death is one event we must all face. How strange that we give so little thought and preparation for it.
Medical news continually reinforces the notion that death is an enemy, an unnatural interruption to life. It is spoken of only as an end, be it an end to a long struggle some times, but with the implication that medical science has once again to give in to death's greater power. The words of the apostle Paul: 'For me to live is Christ, to die is gain' are as alien today as at any time in history.
Writer Henri Nouwen, in his book 'Our greatest gift', reflects on the notion of 'dying well'. He poses a series of questions: "Are we preparing ourselves for our deaths, or are we going to keep busy until we can't be busy any longer? Are we helping each other to die or are we simply going to assume that we are always going to be there for each other? Is our death going to give new life, new hope, new faith to our friends, or is it going to be no more than another cause for sadness?' The main question is not: 'How much will we still be able to do during the few years we have left to live?', but: 'How can we prepare ourselves for our deaths in such a way that our dying will be a new way for us to send our and God's spirit to those we have loved and who have loved us?'
At the time of writing (1994), Nouwen was in his early 60s, and his father was in his 90s. He pondered the possibilities of his future, whether he had 10, 20 or 30 years left. Henri Nouwen died last year. But death is not the domain solely of older folk. It touches all ages and stages of life. 1 wonder how differently our attitudes would be were we to take seriously the brevity and fragility of life. Would we be so unforgiving? So lacking in compassion? So willing to postpone important tasks? Would we waste so much time in trivialities?
To take death seriously is to live life more fully, to savour every moment as not only the gift of God and an experience of His grace, but also as preparation for the life to come.
Far from being a morbid topic, a consideration of death has the potential to be the most life-giving reflection of all.
Gary
October 22, 2000
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